August 2010 Archives

The latest issue of Urban Folk, a monthly NYC rag that focuses on the cities independent artists, was thrust in to my hand while recently watching a show at live music hotspot Piano’s, located in Manhattan’s Lower East side. Flipping through it while talking with my friend Jeff Davidson, himself an active member in NYC’s music scene, I stumbled upon an article about my good friend Jeff Roberts that was all about his graphic produce business. I conception good for Jeff, you deserve it buddy………now how can I mess with you. Coming up with an idea took all of two seconds and I unloaded on Davidson the prank: I’ll e-mail Roberts from my yahoo narrative, which is my first name and middle name so he won’t know it’s me, and then request the construction of a website, being as absurd as possible. Davidson laughed and said he would do it too – the plan was in motion.

First Contact:

Hi Jeff,

I saw your article in Urban Folk and opinion you were the best person for my newest website. I’m an entrepreneur and have started many a successful business. My newest venture is an invention that deals with vegetables. Vague I know, I’ll be able to divulge more info if we decide to work together.

Looking forward to hearing from you!

-Chris Nolan

To my disappointment this e-mail went unanswered for a couple days. Luckily I had plans to hang out with Jeff that weekend and while at dinner nonchalantly asked if there was any response from the article, but he said he hadn’t had any. You didn’t receive any E-mail’s asking to create a website? And again he said no. The next day I ran in to Davidson, who I had Bcc’d on the e-mail, and said funny right – but he had no idea what I was talking about. The e-mail to Roberts asking for a website, remember. He busted out laughing as he had indeed received that e-mail but completely forgot our joke so thought that he had received the e-mail by mistake and forwarded it on to Jeff Roberts with a brand saying, “Here Jeff, this is for you. I’m not sure why I got it.” Davidson is a very talented guitarist and vocalist, but now I know he’s not exactly up to par in the prank world……or even in pure logic! It was clearly addressed to Jeff Roberts, anyone could have seen that, so there was no need to forward it to him! Well I figured even if he was getting our e-mails the jig was up for sure. But not wanting the joke to die I e-mailed Roberts and told him that I knew somebody who sent him an e-mail looking for a website but that they never heard abet. He replied back saying yes he did see the e-mail, but had been real busy with work and would reply soon.

The Response:

Hi Chris!

Thanks for getting in touch with me. I love vegetables. Eat em all the time. icon smile I Need a Website

I’d like to talk about your site, explore our ideas and options and perform a opinion of action. I’m not sure of what your needs are, but thru my acquire collective I’m also able to offer print services, photography and video, as well as marketing and promotion.

My buddy Chris Hacker gave me the heads up that you’d be contacting me. I appreciate that guy. Ever play the bean bag game with him? That’s one competitive dude icon smile I Need a Website

Feel free to call me at 555 364 3701.

best,

Jeff

Now I never wanted to bring the real me in to the narrate and in retrospect there probably could have been another way, perhaps just sheer patience, but what had been done was done so I had to adapt the story and forge on.

My reply:

Hi Jeff,

Thanks for the reply. Yes Chris told me you were the best person he knew making websites in the city so I had to contact you. No he hasn’t mentioned a bean bag game but I know about the competitive streak: one time we were playing darts and he was beating me pretty bad and not being too graceful about it so I threw a dart right at him, that taught him a lesson icon smile I Need a Website

Now we’ve had a little dialog and have a mutual friend in accepted I can divulge you a limited more about my invention. As you may know vodka is made from potatoes. What I’ve done is made a machine that when a potato is placed inside it can instantly extract pure fresh vodka. It takes about 5 potatoes to make one shot but the taste is out of this world.

The site I would like to mimic is: http://www.shaniatwain.com/

All we need to do is make a similar site and add a video demonstration section and an online store.

-Chris

From Wiki: Vodka is one of the world’s most consumed distilled beverages. It is typically a colorless liquid containing ethanol purified by distillation from a fermented substance such as grain or potatoes.

Okay I don’t have to go in to it but that’s quite a complicated process that needs a heck of a lot of time to do and the notion of a machine that can in minutes turn potato’s in to Vodka, while brilliant and I want credit if it’s ever invented, is preposterous.

Hi Chris,

This sounds like a fun project.

We can definitely mimic the site design of shaniatwain.com. I’d like to talk with you about it, and start to develop our plan of attack. Also, once I have a solid understanding of what the sitie will consist of, I can give you an estimate. I’m also wondering if you have someone to produce the video, or if you’d like me to check with my video people to see if they can pick the project.

It’s possible to take care of all of this thru email, but much easier to talk on the phone, or meet up over coffee. I’ve got this week wide open, if you’d like to set a time for a phone call or face to face objective lemme know.

best,

Jeff

Apparently this is more of a challenge than I conception. It’s time to take this thing up a notch.

Hi Jeff,

Great I’m elated you’re on board. I would love to meet up and talk in person but I’m traveling through the former Soviet Union at the moment and e-mail is the best blueprint of communication. The reason being is I’m securing the sale of a very notable component of my instant Vodka machine, and that is Uranium. Specifically, Enriched Uranium, which is needed to accelerate the fermentation of the potato. Only a very small amount is customary in the process and it poses no threat to humans. I’m awaiting the Food and Drug administrations approval, which should come any day now, but they are notoriously dreary and my investors are very impatient and I need to start making some sales.

This leads me to a discussion about the online store and website as a whole. Are you able to create this website without any ticket of it originating from the United States? It would only be a temporary situation while we are waiting on the Food and Drug people to get their asses in gear. I understand this might be quite complicated but rest assured money is no object for my investors: I can offer you $25,000 for your services. Is that sufficient?

Sincerely,
Chris

Mission accomplished. A couple hours after sending this e-mail Jeff calls, “Dude how do you know this guy, is this a joke, what’s going on this is some unusual shit, is this a joke.” I played tedious for a minute or two, saying he was my brothers friend from Columbia Grad school and only half knew him etc etc, but I couldn’t keep going and broke down.

We had a good laugh and isn’t that what life is all about. Okay I have to go, Jeff invited me out to a Yankees game and we have tickets right behind home plate, supposedly he’s got a hot date for me too. Man he is such a great friend!

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Filed under Automated Email Marketing by on . Comment#

Simply stated, email marketing is a form of direct marketing which uses electronic mail as a means of communication to existing or potential customers. Although some direct mails – also commonly known as ‘junk mail’ can be a headache for many who receive it, when targeted precisely to potential customers and clients, it can be a cost-effective arrangement of getting your message across to people most likely to buy your products and services.

Here are five steps, necessary elements required for a successful targeted email marketing campaign:

First. Ensure that you have an appropriate email list.

This is the most significant step, as in any email internet marketing, in fact targeted on not.

Brainstorm with questions like:

Do I have an email list for the market you witness to penetrate or cover?

Do the people on my list have the needed “authority” to form the purchase I want from them?

Have I covered all kinds of characteristics of those in my list that make them more likely to purchase?

In other words, salvage as much information from both your existing customers as well as your prospects. If they are existing customers then you should have some historical information of their previous purchase. Include also records of your correspondence with them. Have they purchased similar products or availed services from others?

Second. The Offer.

Clearly, there’s little value in targeted email marketing or any marketing endeavor if you don’t make an offer. It’s been suggested by direct marketers that having the right offer contributes to a big percentage in the success of any email internet marketing campaign. A prospective customer should be provided with a reason why they should act to offers. Offers should be enticing. Some examples of strong offers are: Contests (winning a cash or a trip), Free!, and a 30% off. Essentially having a good offer gives a hint at what the befriend of the offer is. Don’t complicate your offers by trying to offer too many products at one time in your targeted email marketing campaign. Reflect splendid offers such as money-back guarantees, premiums (buying one item and getting another for FREE) and one-time discounts.

Third. Presentation

Presentation involves your graphics and layouts. Make definite that your graphics, if you have any, are clear and are highly visible. They should be well presented. The key aspect of presentation is that your offer can easily be seen and understood. Part of a successful presentation is to make sure that the benefit of the offer is presented early in the email.

Fourth. Reliable email distribution outfit.

Make sure that you have a reliable email distribution outfit to do your mailing. This will make the distribution and measurement of your targeted email marketing campaign considerable easier and cost-effective.

Fifth. Your “fulfillment” plan.

Remember to reward yourself for a job well done! Your targeted email marketing campaign is a BIG success. Make sure you know how you’ll handle your increases in sales than expected. It would be a waste to have gone to all the trouble to obtain a successful campaign only to lose the customers because you can’t fill their orders in a timely way. The planning continues, only this time, a sweeter one, your fulfillment plan!

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Filed under Email Marketing Services by on . Comment#